Good morning beautiful Topsy. Just after I had been on here to little you yesterday morning, I heard somethings great big mouth going off, and it threatening to go out… it never does though. I could not help but shout out as soon as I heard it, I think that is what stopped it from slamming a door as hard as it possibly could. Had it done that, I would have been so angry, as I was feeling very, very low as it was. I have only just realised the time, it was about ten minutes before I go down there just before midday. I was angry when I went down there, as it was waiting for me to get out of its way, and I have only just remembered that the dining table was full of great breakfast plates. I did not hurry though, as I wanted to make my poor Mum a cup of tea, and I had a couple of phone calls to make. It was only when I did get up here, I realised that I had forgotten to bring a black bin-bag up with me so I could clear up after that filthy stinking thing, but I managed to anyway. I was feeling very depressed little girl, as I cannot get that horrible Tuesday morning when Molly screamed so loudly out of my head. I keep getting flashbacks, which make me shout out, and I keep forgetting to try and forget them… only stupid me could do that. I got very upset, especially with Molly’s beautiful photos coming up on the telly, and tears started rolling down my face. I have not been able to talk about Molly as I did with Charlie, I have tried, but with my poor Mum being in hospital again, I have not been able to, and it has just bottled up. Before I knew it, it was time to go down there to feed George again, and I was surprised that I was allowed to. George came running in as soon as I opened the garden doors, I gave her food, and got my hot drink ready for the evening, George finished her food before I had even got started, and was crying for more. If anyone else could see her, they would thing that I starved her, and would not believe me if I told them that she eats more than forty-two packets of food a week, with four or five big boxes of ham on top. I gave George another packet, but she was soon wanting more, so I let her out with a great big lump of ham. Of course, something was waiting for me to get out of their way, so I had to get up here quickly. I did remember to get a black bin-bag, and I had only just sat down, when something came slithering up the stairs. I was feeling very low little girl, but it did not stop my greedy stomach from grumbling and growling, and I had to have a bowl of noodles with my hot drink last evening. It did not make me feel any different though, I still felt as depressed when I had finished eating as I was before. When I went down there for the last time last night, I could not stop myself from breaking down. I love and miss Molly so much little girl, it is even making me upset as I type this out. Of course, something was waiting for me to get out of their way, but I was late getting back up here. I do not know what time I got into bed, but my dopey head hit the pillows much later than usual. I hoped that I would get a lay in, but no, I was awake early, so I just laid there, as I was too tired to move. When I looked at the time, it was the same time as it was on that horrible Tuesday morning, eighty-three days ago. I fed George and Thomas when I got down there to the kitchen, Thomas was starving, as I did not see him yesterday, but George still ate more, even though she had a good feed yesterday. I let George out with a great lump of ham after two packets of food, then got up here out of the way again. I had to get out of the way quickly when I took my poor Mum her coffee, then again when I took her a yogurt… but I had to wait around to wash the pot and spoon, or they would have still been on the table tonight. I am going to have a clear up after that stinking mouse this afternoon, I cannot do anything until something does trundling off out. I have a strange feeling that it will not be today, as it cannot bare my little sister and me being alone with our poor Mum, even though all it does is shout at her, and thoroughly enjoys having loud arguments near her. I love you so much Topsy, I do love you little girl, and I do miss you, I miss you so much you beautiful, brave little girl. XxX